DAY TWENTY FIVE | Building Strong Marriages

May 25, 2009

DAY TWENTY FIVE | BUILDING STRONG MARRIAGES

GENESIS. 2:24 – Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Ever heard a good joke about your mother in-law? I know plenty. There is often confusion as to who should be allowed into the relationship once a couple are married. I have always taken from this verse that there must be a “leaving and cleaving” for a marriage to work. The young couple must leave the attachments and associations of their “singleness” and must now cleave to one another, and build new attachments and associations together.

In society today, it has become the prevalent concept that two people must retain their “identity and singleness” for a marriage to work. Because of this we now have marriages or partnerships based on two people living together yet keeping separate lives. No wonder one in every two marriages is now failing.

The Bible clearly states that the man should intentionally leave his state of singleness to cleave to his wife until they become one flesh. This is not simply the sexual union but the becoming of a single unit in association and attachments.

In other words they work together for the good of each partner and for the common good of the union. Now why would the Bible NOT say that the wife must leave her mother and father as well. It only says the man.

I believe that the woman needs the continued support of her mother and father as she raises children and builds a family, and that there is a special bond between mother and daughter. Women need talk time.

Many a good marriage has failed because the man has become jealous of the relationship his wife has with her mother. Do not break this bond. It will help your marriage to leave the mother/daughter relationship strong. In fact I would be very wary of marrying a woman who does not have a good relationship with her mother.

I would suggest that you will face some future relational issues in your marriage because of the damaged relationship between wife and mother.

Do yourself a favour; help your wife stay close to her mum, and do all you can to honour your in-laws. To the man I would also say to make it your business to talk to your wife. Maybe then she won’t need to talk to her mother as much.

PRACTICAL

1. For men – Identify and fix areas where you have robbed your wife of her relationship with her Parents.

2. For women – Identify and fix areas where you have robbed your husband of his relationship with his mates.

3. Identify friends and family that both of you enjoy friendships with – plan some extra activities with these friends.

4. Plan some special activities that satisfy both of you in your relationship. Never make each other earn points for rewards etc.

5. Plan to go above and beyond for the special person in your life so they feel absolutely loved and appreciated.